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August 9, 2017

How to Hang Toilet Paper In Hotel Rooms?

Enter “how to hang toilet paper” in Google and you get 1.8 million results. Include the quote marks and you get 35,600 hits, which is still 34,599 too many.

Clearly it’s a subject of pressing concern to many people who reside exclusively in the first world and have already made their peace with the Kardashians - there are even instructional videos on YouTube. As the last thing you want to do is offend your guests by how you hang the roll of toilet paper in their rooms, how do you, in fact, hang a roll of toilet paper in a hotel room?

First off, the fact that it’s in a hotel room is what puts the issue in play at all. Of course the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper is so it unrolls over, towards you - the user should be able to pull up and have the paper roll off the top.

There is one major exception: If you have a cat or small child, it’s permissible to hang the roll under, with the paper unrolling against the wall, away from the user. This is because when cats claw at the roll, which they do solely because they know it annoys you, if it’s unrolling overhand you’ll end up with a pile of wasted toilet paper all over the bathroom floor for which the cat will blame the dog or any small children who happen to live in the house.

But if you hang the roll under, to unroll away from the user, when the cat claws down on the roll, it will simply keep rolling itself up. For this the cat will blame you and go shred the drapes out of spite.

In hotel rooms, the roll is always hung over. Um, let’s try that again: Hotels always hang the toilet paper roll over, so it unrolls towards the user. There are some good reasons for this - the paper is less likely to pick up germs from the wall if it’s placed to unroll overhand, and because housekeepers get to do the cute little fold at the the beginning of the roll. If the paper hangs under the effect of the cute little fold is lost.

But mostly it’s because hotels have the common sense to do things the best, most efficient, most correct way. So let’s end the silly debate once and for all: Over.

And because they don’t have cats in the room.